Tag Archives: DOMA

A Chink in DOMA’s Armor?

The argument for keeping same sex marriage illegal in many states, including Wisconsin (although we have more problems with Walker in charge than just this) is the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). Last week we may have seen the first chink against DOMA and defending it on a legal status. President Obama announced that he was telling the US Attorney not to defend the US DOMA and declared it “indefensible” and even parts“unconstitutional.”

Granted how Obama is declaring DOMA against the law is not really a legal standing but one of political opinion, but the fact that the president is stating that same sex marriages should be considered a legal joining is a good thing. It is one more little victory for gay marriage which is one more step for real equality in the US.

Republicans are still trying to defend DOMA in court and are still screaming that this is the way marriage was intented, but this is 2011 not 1776 and our views have changed since then. Even if we look to more modern history, such as the innocent 1950s, we find the our views of marriage, relationships and sexuality have changed. The recognition of such change across America and the fact that there are 13 states where a civil union is recognized, including our nation’s capitol. Two of those states are our neighbors: Iowa and Illinios.

But here, in Wisconsin, we are still a DOMA state with only limited rights for gay relationships and no recognition of marriage. That will hopefully soon be changing with Obama standing up and saying that the federal version of DOMA is unconstitutional, which in turn should invalidate the one here as well.

Personally, I like Lorraine Devon Wilke’s words: I have been married for two decades and my marriage does not neeed defending. Thank you Mrs. Wilke! I have not been married as long as you, but my marriage does not need defending either. And to take that thought one more step, I fail to see what anyone else’s marriage has to do with mine, include gay marriage. No one else can change what my marraige is.

Why I think gay and lesbian people should be able to get legally married

I know that this is a topic that seems to come up frequently, and maybe it is a bit over done, but I have to get this off my chest. That is especially after hearing a friend say it was “unChristian” to be gay. No matter how you feel about gay people, the simple truth is that they are Americans and they deserve the same freedoms that we all do. Keeping them from marrying each other is not going to stop the fact that gay and lesbian people exist.

Frankly, I do not believe that being gay is a “choice.” That God, Goddess, Allah, Deity, Mother Nature, or whatever you believe in made gay people gay and straight people straight and that it was on purpose. Gays are not an abomination, are not sinners, are not evil, or any of the other Biblical BS that is floating around out there. As far as that goes, there are more rules to how straight couples should behave in the Bible than there are for gay couples, so I think that says that God trusts gay couples more than straight couples.

Anyway, back on topic here. First of all, over the years, marriage has evolved. First, if a man could buy a woman, she was his wife. Then it was if a father had a dowry to get rid of his daughter, she could become a wife. There were and are arranged marriages, and forced marriages, and marriages of obligation. Most marriages in the US now are voluntary and for love, which is where I am going. The concept of marriage has evolved over the years, and it should evolve again.

Then there is the fact that for no other reason than the most popular religions in America claim that gay marriage is wrong are there laws against it. The Constitution does not allow government to make laws against religion, so why should it allow laws based solely on religious rhetoric? And for those of you who think, “yeah, we have separation of church and state” someone needs to show me that, because I haven’t seen it yet for all the times that I have read the Constitution.

Finally, there is the fact that marriage in the US really has nothing to do with religion. The state that you get married in validates the marriage. A ceremony can take place in a church, but without that piece of paper from the state, the marriage is not legal and the couple doesn’t get any of the benefits of marriage. Therefore, religion should have no ruling on who should get married and who shouldn’t.