Tag Archives: Revelations

Why I Dislike Revelation Theology

I’m still here!

Reverend Kelly pointed out to me that my post on the Rapture was pretty angry. Yes it was, and I have a few reasons for that. I’d like to explain why revelation theology gets me a little hot under the collar.

First of all, we’ve had almost two hundred years of this and every single prediction of the ‘end of times’ has been false. Not once, from the Great Disappointment of the 1840’s to May 21 2011, has any of these self-declared prophets been even a little bit right. With a track record like that, you would think that an announcement of this type would be greeted with a discreet call to the local mental health association.

Second, threatening people with an apocalypse seems an awful lot like blackmail. Many of the groups that espouse this view also make a great deal of money from books, videos and classes on the subject. The “Left Behind” books and movies are a prime example of this ideology-as-fundraiser. I am also told there are apocalyptic Christian-themed video games on the subject. I can’t even begin to express my feelings on that.

Thirdly, I feel sorry for the people who believed these guys with their whole heart and now have to deal with the embarrassment of having been had. Does anybody take their emotions into account? They weren’t taken by God, will they now believe they weren’t good enough? That they weren’t Christian enough or didn’t tithe enough to the church? Abandonment, fear, unworthiness, loss of faith, doubt, anger, and a slew of negative reactions are going to plague these people. I’m not making fun of them, it’s a sad thing to realize something you supported so publicly was utterly wrong and now you have to live with that.

I just hope none of these people hurt themselves or anyone else because of this.

Lastly, I am going to have to wait while the “prophets’ explain that they made a mistake, that the time wasn’t calculated correctly, that a new date has been set or that the extreme piety of their group so touched God that he has changed his mind. For a while, anyway.

Not once has any of these guys ever manned-up and just flat out admitted they were wrong.

Human civilizations rise and fall, we know that from our histories. Times change, cultures change and nothing lasts forever: change is the only constant in the universe. This is not something to be feared. This is something to be excited about. This is a source of constant renewal in our lives, a theme of ever-growing lives and a world that always surprises us with its stark contrasts and sublime beauty.

Not to be all Gordon Gekko, but Change works; change is good. It may not always be pleasant, but it will happen with far more inevitability than the rapture will. My world has not ended and  I can hardly wait to see what happens next; I’m sure it will be interesting at the very least.

Find your peace friends.

Rev. Zita.

My World isn’ Ending; How’s Yours?

I’m having a real “Dr. Strangelove” kind of feeling, here. Harold Camping is declaring that the ‘rapture’ is going to happen on Saturday May 21 at ‘suppertime’.  

That’s today, folks. Nice knowing you all. (Tips hat and leaves)

Are you kidding me? No pun intended, but god I hope you are, because this is just plain ridiculous.

First of all I’ve seen his chain of reasoning and let’s just say it’s pretty weak. Based on assumptions that one day to God is a thousand years to us, plus the claim that Noah’s flood took place 7,000 years ago and finagled with some rather odd bits of numerology, the claim is shaky at best. If you’d like to see it for yourself, go here: http://www.familyradio.com/facts.

Between the mix of assumptions about the Hebrew calendar, using metaphor as fact (St. Paul’s comparison to a thousand years and a day) I could only shake my head in an instinctive rejection of the headache that was working its way over my skull.

First of all the term ‘Rapture’ doesn’t appear in the Book of Revelations.  Not even once.  

Secondly, in the Gospel of Mathew Jesus states very clearly that none shall know the time. So there.

Thirdly, rational people know that while the world will end, yes, we have at least five billion years before the sun expands and eats the inner solar system before collapsing.  Hopefully by then we will have either gotten out into space or evolved into something else, so why worry about it?

Look, folks, let’s at least be a little rational about this.

If the end of the world occurs, it is far more likely to happen because we as a species screwed up, rather than a divine hissy fit. A deity is supposed to be omniscient and omnipotent, so why would he make a race that he knew would piss him off so badly he would end up destroying it anyway?  That rationale sounds more like a kid building a sandcastle just before the tide comes in, just to see the waves take it apart. Not very godlike, if you ask me.

At 6:00 pm local time I intend to be grilling on my porch with a beer in hand and watching the birds play in the newly blooming crab apple tree in the yard. I may even sing a few bars of “we’ll meet again” just as a nod to past visions of the Apocalypse.

Which were also wrong, just as this one is.

Find your peace, friends.

Rev. Zita (the Unraptured)